“Being in a depressive state means to identify with a feeling of unhappiness within ourselves. This state is usually related to bad experiences in our past or present life that have caused us pain. The main problem with depression is not the feeling in itself but how we identify with it. In other words, it is the tendency to indulge too much in the unpleasant feeling that causes the depressive state. The intensity of it depends on how painful these situations were and how deeply these feelings are rooted within us.”
Why do we indulge in negative feelings?
We indulge in negative feelings in an attempt to control them. We are motivated by the fear to face them. It is like being in front of a dark tunnel. We cannot go back or ignore it because it is there, undeniably, and at the same time we feel powerless.
This attitude makes us feel stuck, waiting for someone to come and take us out of the situation. Often, we are scared and feel inferior, or we identify with what others tell us or what we tell to ourselves:
› I don’t like myself because…
› I am a bad person and nobody understands me.
› I am not worthy.
› I don’t deserve to live.
The change required can be in the way you approach your feelings.
The call
If you are suffering from depression, you need to understand that the feeling of unhappiness works like a call for a change so that you can become happy. It is simply a catalytic agent that gives you the opportunity to experience a bitter taste in order to trigger in you a willingness to go looking for a sweeter one.
The change required can be external or internal, for example in the way you approach your feelings. The fastest and most effective way out of depression is through the pure and direct expression of your suppressed feelings.
It is a process of empowerment in which you do not simply control or avoid your pain anymore but instead, express it. Doing that means facing fear in order to be and do what you really want in life, or to go looking for it if you don’t already know it yet.
An exercise for dealing with depression
Take some time off for yourself; go to a deserted beach or a forest, or book a session of individual Emotional Release therapy to release your frustration and pain until you feel free again. Then go back into society and honour this inner freedom by making choices that mirror what you really want in life.
Fear might come back again, in which case, start the process over until you establish a stronger self. It seems simple but it isn’t. If you are in a depressive state, expressing your feelings can be more powerful than years of undergoing therapy.
Pain is not an obstacle but a door to happiness
Being in pain and expressing it, is a purely emotional approach to yourself. You will notice with time that the more you look at yourself and your life through the filter of your deepest emotions, the less time you spend on negative judgments.
Depression is often the outcome of being too preoccupied with judgments and not actually getting to the core of the pure emotion. The basic mistake people make is that pain is seen as an obstacle. But in reality, it is a door to happiness. If you experience what you feel fully, all the way, you will end up in a greater space of openness and freedom.
The right support
Moving from re-pression to ex-pression is a process that might require time but if you are committed and consistent, you will get there. During this process, you will move like a pendulum before stabilising yourself in a more open and alive state of being.
It can be useful engaging in some expressive activities. For example, Active Meditations by Osho, martial arts and Emotional Release workshops are very good tools to overcome the fear of being free and expressing yourself.
If these are not enough, ask for support from a Body-Oriented therapist such as Somesh Valentino Curti or Tessa Curti-Nagtegaal. They can support you in getting to the core of your suppressed feelings, understanding their nature and experiencing physical and mental release.
Emotional pain, when experienced consciously, can be a door to happiness.
Further reading:
Old wounds, present reactions: How the past shapes our emotions today
Emotions are part of how we move through life — often arising before we even realize it. Whether we’re waiting in line at the supermarket with other costumers, sitting in a work meeting with our colleagues, or sharing a moment with a partner, a parent or our...